In honor of President's Day, here's a pretty creative little piece that ran in the
Lorain Journal back on Feb. 22, 1952. It's a fantasy piece, written by
Don Miller, in which he time-travels back to George Washington's time, and interviews him for the paper.
****
First President Warns People of the U. S., Tells Them He's Here in Spirit to Help Them Keep America Strong
Journal Newsman Operates Time Reversing Machine, Interviews George Washington
(EDITOR’S NOTE: Since this is Feb. 22nd, Washington’s birthday, Don Miller volunteered to use his own invention, the time reverser, and obtain an interview with the Father of Our Country.)
•••
By Don Miller
DM: Hi, Mr. President. I’m Don Miller from The Lorain Journal. Thought I’d like to interview you for the paper. GW: Paper? Lorain Journal? Never heard of it, my lad. So you’re a newsman. Well. Well. We’ve got a pretty good one ourselves, name of Franklin, Ben Franklin.
DM: Yes, sir, I’ve heard of him. In fact, we consider him one of the greatest men of the past.
GW: Past? You didn’t understand me, son. He’s still around. By the way, what’s that odd looking thing you have?
DM: Oh, that’s a double-breasted suit – let’s just say it’s a hint of things to come, Mr. Washington.
GW: Hah! Don’t tell me men are going to wear ridiculous looking things like that. They’ll never submit to such an indignity. I’d advise you to change into some breeches and don a periwig.
DM: I don’t have time right now, sir, but I’d like to ask you a couple of questions before I have to leave again. First of all, let me show you this. It’s a copy of The Journal dated Saturday, Feb. 16, 1952. Now, Mr. Washington, you’ll notice this headline. It says, “Lake Road Crash Fatal to Two Men.” Now, that was an automobile accident. What do you think of the automobile death toll? GW: Automobile? Death toll? I’m sorry, I don’t know what you are talking about.
DM: Oh, a car – automobile – is a new mode of transportation. You could go from here to Ohio in a day’s time or less.
GW: Too dangerous, my boy. It’ll never come into proper usage. Now, I won’t make a flat prediction, but it’s doubtful.
DM: Okay, Mr. Washington. Here’s a picture of a 647-foot ship launched at Lorain that day. What do you think of that ship?
GW: Sir, I don’t know from whence you come or the purpose behind your presence, but I don’t think much of your hoax. No one can build a ship 647 feet long and expect it to sail.
DM: But they did – that is, they will. Let’s skip that ship right now. Here’s another headline about some trouble in Egypt. What do you think of the Egyptian situation?
GW: We have 13 colonies here, just united into one great nation I say that if we are to remain strong and independent, we can’t afford to meddle too much into the affairs of other nations. Don’t mistake my meaning, young man. We must have commerce and trade, but it’s not our business to bother with internal troubles with other countries. That is, unless it threatens our own freedom. Then we should act rapidly but with extreme caution.
DM: Well, sir, how about the Korean trouble the Communists kicked up? What about price controls? Rent controls? Wage controls? How about our national debt of nearly $275,000,000,000?
GW: What? National debt of – HOW MUCH?
DM: Almost $275,000,000,000 speaking in round figures.
GW: Round figures? You’re talking in crazy figures, young man! No country could ever know how much money that is, let alone spend that much. It’s an impossibility!
DM: Well, then, let’s ignore that. How about the next election? You can see here that Harry Truman, Dwight Eisenhower, Senator Robert A. Taft, Senator Estes Kefauver, Harold Stassen – are all being mentioned for president.
GW: Journalist – if, as you claim, you come from the year 1952, if you have autos which kill people at the rate of two per day; if you are facing the threat of aggression from countries of which we know little; if your country has a debt that’s inconceivable to my mind or yours; I’ve just one word of advice for you. Don’t go back. Break your little time reversing machine and stay right here. We have freedom, bitterly fought for and won, but precious freedom. Our economy is just beginning to stabilize itself and we’ve just signed a document declaring the equality and freedom of man.
My one regret has been that I’m now getting up in years and know that perilous times lie ahead for this nation. I know my time is running out and I won’t be here to help with those problems. But from your description of this country in 1952 I can see the need for men of courage, vision, honesty and strength. Stay here if you will, or put duty above yourself and go back to the twentieth century. Warn the people to become, united, to stabilize their currency; and to make certain each man keeps free and has a job. I pity you if you go back, but the choice is yours. I now consign to you the future of the country. Warn the people and tell them I’ll be there in spirit to help them keep America as strong as it is today in its new found freedom!