Elsie the Cow Mooooves Back to Ohio

I commute to Cleveland each day on I-90. On Fridays, I get off the highway one exit early so I can pick up a dozen donuts at the Giant Eagle on 117th Street. Then I take the side streets over to where I work, which takes me right past the Dairymens plant on W. 106th Street.

I like the Dairymens brand of products. I figure it's the closest thing to a local dairy that I'm going to find these days (except for Toft’s products, which aren’t in the grocery stores where I shop).

Earlier this year, though, I knew something was up when I noticed that the tall stacks of the Dairymens plant were now emblazoned with the iconic image of Elsie the Cow, the Borden advertising mascot.

As I soon discovered, the Dairymens brand was being replaced here in Ohio by that of Borden, which owns and operates the Dairymens plants anyway. (Here’s the news story.)

As much as I like classic advertising mascots, I don’t feel very nostalgic about Elsie the Cow. We drank Home Dairy milk – which was delivered to our house – when I was a kid. Later, we probably drank Lawson’s milk.

Plus Elsie looked a little strange to me – kind of thin in the face, compared to what I remembered.

A quick Google search confirmed what I suspected: she’d been given a makeover (or at least an eyelift). In fact, she’s had several makeovers through the years. 

Here’s the “classic” Elsie with that strange ringlet of hair that looked like some kind of weird hose.

And here’s Elsie after a 1993 makeover.

Maybe Borden felt that Elsie needed to compete with the (ugh) Skinny Cow mascot, which by the way is no longer featured on its ice cream, candy or beverage products. Small wonder why... it’s udderly unappetizing!

Despite my lack of enthusiasm for Elsie’s return, I’m probably more nostalgic about the glue product that still bears the likeness of her husband, Elmer. That’s right, in the Borden universe, Elsie is married to the gruff-looking Elmer.

Unfortunately, a bovine separation resulted when Borden spun off the Elmer’s corporate family of products. Here’s the couple in happier times. (Doesn’t Elmer look like he’s half in the bag?)

From a 1963 Borden calendar

Anyway, these days Elmer looks like he’s had a makeover of his own. For comparison, here he is in the early days of his namesake product. He looks like a Wallace Beery type.

And here he is now, wearing more of a smirk than his knowing grin.

Suddenly I have the urge to squirt a bunch of Elmer’s Glue in my palm, letting it dry and then peeling it off like a bad sunburn.